I think every woman, and possibly man, has this ideal picture perfect idea of how they want their relationship to be. I know I did. Whether you’d like it to be like a romantic comedy, indie movie, fairy-tale, sci-fi romance, you name it, I believe we all have this subconscious standard that we try to make our relationship live up to. Or, if you’re not in a relationship yet, try to plan it to be like. I see so many post on Tumblr alone, let alone other social networking sites littered with uncredited photos covered in sappy text, that look a lot like this:

Midnight kisses

Cuddles under blanket forts

Rainy days in bed

Making lemonade together on a hot day

Letting me wear your shirts

Forehead kisses

Holding hands

<3<3 #perfect relationship

Okay I made all those up and they’re not literally all like that, but some are, and some are worse. And that’s fine, obviously this is the internet, and we are allowed (and certainly feel entitled) to post whatever we want. But I think that those kinds of posts, photos, etc, cause a little bit of a disillusion. 

Relationships are messy. I can tell you this from experience. I will honestly (and shamefully) admit that I have literally chucked my wedding rings, yes both of them, at my husband during a fight. I’ve spent a handful of nights sleeping on the couch, I’ve threatened to leave, and much more. And I can assure you, our fights look nothing like the romantic passion fueled fights on “The Notebook”, ladies. But at the end of the day I absolutely love the hell out of his sports-obsessed, OCD, sarcastic-to-no-end ass and I can’t picture my life with anyone else. 

Can relationships be super duper awesome? Most of the time. Can they be cute and movie-like? Certainly. But they’re far from perfect. Especially the longer you’re together. What I’m trying to get at is that an honest real relationship isn’t gonna be like Tumblr, or movies, or books, make it out to be. Especially when you get married, your idea of romantic will quickly change. When my husband fills up my gas tank, or pulls my car into a closer parking spot in the morning, that’s romantic. Or when he does the laundry, or empties the dishwasher. Sure, every relationship has it’s “honeymoon stage” and God only knows what I’d give to have that back. But it fades, and what’s left is the raw basics and mechanics of your relationship. That’s where true love has to comes in to make it work when it gets difficult and frustrating.

All I’m trying to say is that life isn’t perfect, and neither are relationships. And I’m just afraid that most girls, and again sometimes guys, are gonna be disappointed when everything changes and it’s just life. My husband and I try to set aside an evening a week where we can spend quality time together but it doesn’t always happen. Sometimes our quality time is grocery shopping together on Sundays. Those are the things you need to realize. Relationships, and especially marriage, is not easy. But it’s wonderful, and worth it, if your expectations are realistic and your motives are honest.